Design kr

[EN/KR] Post-Thesis Presentation Critique and Comments / 발표후 비평과 논평.


Every time I include Korean translation in my posts, I use a translator. But sometimes, people leave comments saying that trying to read the translation is very uncomfortable or even confusing. Therefore, I am looking to write all of my posts by hand without the full use of a translator. If there’s anything that needs fixing, please let me know in the comments!

저는 항상 한국 기사를 쓰면 역사를 사용해요. 근데 가끔 사람들이 논평 에서 불편하다고 그래서 저 혼자 한글로 쓰게 도전합니다. 저 배운말 다쓰고 문장을 고칠 필요가 있으면 알려주세요!

This is a continuation, or a sequel to my presentation post, where I talk about and outline the comments that were said from my bosses, my thesis advisor, and an expert on the DMZ. I will go through the more important comments and split them into sections below.

발표끝나고 비평을 많았어요. 중요한 비평을 썼습니다.

Assume that No one knows about Anything / 사람들 모두다 아무것도 모른다고 가정해요.

When presenting, I jumped around different portions of the presentation, and one of the critics pointed out that he needed to make mental notes to connect the dots themselves. One minute I was jumping from talking about the South Korean to the North Korean to talking about UnityCoin on the global scale without even introducing UnityCoin yet. I need to smooth out the transitions between the more significant portions of my presentation.

비평가들가 저 발표 이해하긴 너무 어려웠어요. 그래서 저 발표가 더 학자연하게 말해줘애돼요.

What is the Time Frame of the Proposal? / 논문의 시간 액자

What I failed to mention was the specific time period that my proposal will take place. Understanding when events have happened, and essentially plugging and playing significant historical events into my proposal and understanding the consequences of each event. Is this proposal, I plan on laying the possible futures, including this project starting its incubation phases somewhere in the next decade or two, and that’s me being optimistic.

발표이내에 시간 액자가 언급안했어요.

MORE DATA / 필요한 것 데이터

A big flaw with my presentation was that a lot of slides were more symbolic rather than addressing concrete data to support the claims that I am making. There should be more diagrams such as data regarding the Kaesong Industrial Complex, the full curriculum of the existing Hanawon screening system, understanding North Korea’s quantity of natural resources, etc. With the inclusion of more data, the statements that I’m making on a foundational level would be more viable / feasible.

발표이내에 상징하는 진술가 너무 많았어요. 연구 더하고 데이터가 더 필요해요.

Limitation of Data Regarding North Korea / 북한에 관한 자료는 없어요

Another unfortunate thing that happened was that I had a lot of trouble finding a surplus of data regarding North Korea and the information regarding the site at a local level. The immediate vicinity I fear might be inaccurate as I work on it when the design aspect of my proposal begins. I’ve been introduced to look more into the United Nations’ resource of data in order to find more accurate information regarding the immediate site of my thesis proposal.

북한 연구하다가 데이터 찾기 너무 어려웠어요.

Utilize the Zoning Map Data / 사용법 구역화지도의

I need incentivize the urban fabric aspect of my project by utilizing the zoning maps of both North Korea and South Korea. Through this thorough analysis, I can scope out the potential hotspots for development, where the industrial zones are in juxtaposition with the residential zones, and designate the zones where UnityCoin can subsidize the housing development.

구역화지도 공부하고 주거 지역과 공업 지역 찾기 중요해요. 개발 필요하는 지역도 찾는게 중요해요.

Considering the Commonalities between North Korea and South Korea / 북한과 대한민국의 유사점

Rather than focusing on the differences between North Korea and South Korea, it is much more productive to be highlighting the similarities between both sides in order to establish that connection on both the physical and metaphoric level. If I focus on their similarities, such as Hanok housing, then I can begin to tease out the nuances within their similarities.

저는 북한과 대한민국의 유사점 생각 많이해야돼요. 유사점 찾기보다 저는 북한과 대한민국의 차이점들만 집중했어요.

Inclusion of my Own Opinions / 저의 의견

It is very important for me to establish a position of argument when addressing my thesis. Everything from the existing architecture of North and South Korea to just blockchain in general, to what my approaches are to Korean unity should all be considered and mentioned when presenting my thesis proposal.

저 발표를 하실때 저의 의견도 뭔지 알아드런거도 중요해요.

Looking at North and South Korea as Equals / 북한과 대한민국의 평형

It may be interesting to think about, but North Koreans and South Koreans need to be seen as equals in order to develop a successful reunification. If South Korea absorbs North Korea and vice versa, then it wouldn’t be reunification. If anything it would be more of consuming one side and growing. Whether there is a wealth gap or not, or if one side’s development is far superior than the other, one cannot look down on one other. Even out of socialism, there is an ideology that needs to be considered.

북한과 대한민국 통일할때 한쪽을 정복하면 안돼요.

Hanawon Curriculum / 하나원의 과정

Hanawon is the existing screening process for North Korean defectors. Expanding on what they learn and what activities they do facilitates how I can imagine the spatial implications that come with the sequence of events throughout the day, which is interesting as a precedent because South Korea is using Hanawon as their mini-reunification process.

저는 하나원의 과정에 연구를 더 해야돼요.

Stakeholder Diagrams for UnityCoin / 유니티코인의 투자자 도표

There needs to be more elaboration on UnityCoin beyond the initial visionary statements on what it’s going to do and what it’s going to achieve. When exploring UnityCoin on the global, nationwide, and local scale, why would UnityCoin be conducive to all parties in the trickle-down process? There needs to be a clear diagram of how the cryptocurrency would evolve over time.

저는 유니티코인를 더 이해할라고 유니티코인의 투자자 도표를 해야돼요.

After reading the comments, if there are any other questions that I should address regarding my presentation, please let me know in the comments below!

비평을 읽으고 코멘트있으면, 코멘트를 쓰세요!


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